


The Murder Family Plays Uno

by until_the_earth_is_free



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Murder Family, Playing Uno, shit gets personal really fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/until_the_earth_is_free/pseuds/until_the_earth_is_free
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibal, Abigail and Will sit down to play Uno.  Needless to say, shit gets really personal really fast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Murder Family Plays Uno

**Author's Note:**

> It's 1:30am and I decided to write this crackfic. Don't ask what possessed me but if you've ever played Uno with your family / friends you'd know.

“What’s this, Abigail?” inquired Hannibal, as his daughter sat down at the coffee table in the living room and started dealing a deck of cards.

“Uno. I found a pack in my bag and it was something my family always used to play after dinner...”

Will glanced up from a paper he was marking and looked over at Hannibal.

“Have you ever played Uno before?”

“No, but I would be very interested to try,” Hannibal said graciously and, after only hesitating for a moment, sat down on the floor across the table from Abigail.

Will chuckled at his partner’s attempt at casualness and settled himself on the carpet by the end of the table while Abigail explained the rules.

“Ah,” Hannibal said. “It’s a very family-friendly game, I see.”

Abigail and Will shot each other an amused, knowing look and gestured for Hannibal to begin.

The game proved to be a typical one with a gentle start, until Will skipped Hannibal’s turn.

Hannibal’s fatherly smile stiffened slightly as he tried to retain an air of grace despite being excluded so rudely. Still, it was a light-hearted game of numbers and primary colours so he said nothing.

That is, until Will skipped his turn again.

Hannibal turned his head slowly to the man on his right and spoke coldly.

“That was very rude of you, William.”

“Wow, full names so early in the game,” Abigail muttered and Will tried not to smile, which aggravated the doctor further.

It was when Abigail reversed the players’ turns, Hannibal saw his revenge.

“Ha!” he exclaimed, throwing down a “Draw 2” card onto the deck.

“Not so fast,” whispered Will, his eyes narrowing as he slid another “Draw 2” on top of Hannibal’s.

“Abigail,” Hannibal said, his eyes brimming with a pleading coercion. “Do you remember when I saved your life?”

“Sorry,” she said, in a tone that was anything but, as she placed another “Draw 2” on the table.

Hannibal swallowed slowly and picked up six cards.

“Take that,” he announced, and tossed a “Wild Draw 4” down. “Red, like my hands after I’m done with you, Will.”

“You pull another stunt like that and Jack might be getting an interesting phone call later this week.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Watch me.”

The two men intensely held each other’s stares all the while Will drew four more cards.

Once Will had put down a red 6, Abigail changed the colour to blue again, causing a small, angered noise from Hannibal’s throat.

“I will disown you,” he shouted, perhaps a lot louder than he meant it to be and earning a laugh from Will.

Turning on his partner, Hannibal spat, “you little... I WILL EAT YOU ALIVE, WILL GRAHAM! DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING GAME?”

“Well-” began Will.

“I AM THE FUCKING CHESAPEAKE RIPPER. DO NOT MESS WITH ME, YOU RUMPLE-CLOTHED PLEBEIAN PROFILER WITH YOUR STUPID, MESSY HAIR AND YOUR SNARKY LITTLE GRIN AND YOUR-”

He stopped suddenly, a wild expression in his eyes.

“Make-up sex?” suggested Will.

Hannibal nodded and the two of them sprinted out of the livingroom, knocking over the coffee table in their haste.

Abigail sighed and looked at the mess of cards on the floor. Why did every family game night have to end like this?


End file.
